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Coming Out to Play, by Robbie Rogers, Eric Marcus
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Robbie Rogers knows better than most that keeping secrets can crush you. But for much of his life Robbie lived in paralyzing fear that sharing his big secret would cost him the love of his family and his career as a professional soccer player. So he never told anyone what was destroying his soul, both on and off the field.
While the world around Robbie was changing with breathtaking speed, he knew that for a gay man playing a professional team sport it might as well be 1958. He could be a professional soccer player. Or he could be an out gay man. He couldn't do both.
Then last year, at the age of 25, and after nearly stepping away from a brilliant career - one that included an NCAA Championship, winning the MLS Cup, and competing in the Olympics - he chose to tell the truth. But instead of facing the rejection he feared, he was embraced - by his family, by his teammates, and his fans.
In Coming Out to Play, Robbie takes listeners on his incredible journey: from terrified teenager to a trailblazing out and proud professional soccer player for the L.A. Galaxy. He has embraced his new identity as a role model and champion for those still struggling with the secrets that keep them from living their dreams.
- Sales Rank: #93544 in Audible
- Published on: 2015-06-16
- Released on: 2015-06-16
- Format: Unabridged
- Original language: English
- Running time: 299 minutes
Most helpful customer reviews
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful.
Rock on, Robbie!
By Penny Thoughtful
This is a sports biography of a man who showed incredible athletic talent from an early age. It's also the story of a gay man who had to bury his feelings deep in order to feel acceptable. "You don't grow up hating yourself by accident," he sadly writes. "By my junior year in high school...if I was going to seem normal I was going to have to prove myself by actually having sex with a girl," he adds, which seems just as sad to me. (Not everyone wants to have sex in high school!)
I think there's a general perception that post-Ellen, post-same-sex-marriage-endorsed-by-the-president, in our own modern age, homophobia isn't a problem any more. This autobiography shows that it IS a problem, and that includes self-loathing and feeling the need to hide from the people and things one loves most. Coming out is still a courageous thing to do, especially for a professional athlete who intends to keep playing.
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
Moving, powerful memoir about the struggle to come to terms with (and love) who you are...
By Larry Hoffer
There's a point toward the end of Robbie Rogers' new memoir, Coming Out to Play, when he recounts the first words he said to former NBA player Jason Collins, who had just come out of the closet. "The first thing I said after he introduced himself was, 'Congratulations, but it feels a little weird to congratulate you for being honest.'"
Rogers deserves congratulations for the same reason. Coming Out to Play is an honest, often emotional account of his struggle to accept himself and his sexuality, and reconcile it with what he believes will be the reactions of his ardently Catholic family, his professional soccer teammates, and the world. It is a book about how hard it is to keep your true self hidden from everyone around you, and how that pressure dampens your ability to enjoy even the things you love the most.
Since I don't really follow soccer except for the madness around the World Cup, I'll admit I hadn't ever heard of Robbie Rogers until the spring of 2013, when I heard that he had announced he was gay at the same time he was retiring from professional soccer. When shortly thereafter he decided to play again, this time for the LA Galaxy, he became the first openly gay male athlete to play a game in a major professional team sport in North America. And although it took him a long time to come to terms with who he is, since that point he has embraced his opportunity to be a role model, especially for young people, to demonstrate that your sexuality doesn't define you, and it shouldn't stop you from doing what you love.
"...I don't represent the gay community and I'm not giving anyone a voice other than myself. If anything, I like to think that I'm speaking for myself and for all people who feel like they've been discriminated against. That's a role I'm happy to embrace."
Although our lives are vastly different, Rogers' story definitely hit home for me in a number of ways. I, too, spent a long time trying to figure out a way not to be gay, and once I realized that was an impossible task, I worried about how my family and friends would react. And while it probably wasn't a shock to most people when I eventually told them, it was a relief to be completely honest instead of hiding a part of my life, worrying about which pronouns to use, and not being able to enjoy my life as I was experiencing it.
I thought this was a really well-written and engrossing book. Rogers is a very complex person with many interests far beyond sports. He isn't afraid to portray himself or his actions as unsympathetic at times, and he doesn't excuse certain things he did. You can almost feel how tightly wound he was through most of his life, and how finally revealing his true self to his family was tremendously freeing and cathartic, and I'm not ashamed to admit, it (unsurprisingly) made me a little emotional.
I hope that this book makes its way into the hands of those who need it most. Rogers may not have set out to be a role model, but he definitely is one, and we are fortunate that he is willing to share his journey and his feelings with us. Hopefully this book will change more than one mind, and make a difference in more than one life.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Awesome, inspiring read!
By WS Long
To be honest, I hadn't heard of Robbie Rogers until he came out gay. As a gay lawyer who practices law, and writes (mostly in the m/m romance genre), my interest in Robbie Rogers has been relatively recent.
[This recent interest is in part because I like to watch soccer. Yes, I've watched, "Bend It Like Beckham." But I've also followed Arsenal, Manchester United and Real Madrid off and often over the years.]
This book doesn't disappoint. Written in a conversational style, the book outlines the struggles that Robbie Rogers has from an early age. Raised in Southern California in a very Catholic family, his life undergoes tremendous change when his parents divorce. Against this background, Robbie displays early on characteristics which would confirm he is gay. In fact, the author(s) clearly show that Robbie knew he was different early on. Where the problems lie, as the book goes into, are when Robbie denies those feelings for a long time.
This book details Robbie Rogers' relationships with his mother, father and siblings. There are wonderful narratives about his internal struggle about being true with himself while pursuing his love of soccer. You feel his pain when when he addresses the super-macho world of sports, where women are objectified and homosexuality is ridiculed.
"Coming Out to Play" addresses the problems of questioning one's sexuality and highlights the agonizing fear of a closeted man afraid of losing the love and acceptance of those he loves (as well as jeopardizing his career in a sport that he enjoys).
As a unsophisticated soccer fan, the references to FIFA, Olympic soccer and the like made this book a very quick read for me.
I particularly liked the use of family members providing notes or memories in the book for the reader to get context: this was a nice touch.
This is a book I recommend to every one interested in learning about Robbie Rogers.
This is a book I recommend to any gay male who loves sports.
This is a book I recommend because it's a good book.
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